I'm not the average girl from your video...
I’ve always enjoyed watching music videos. In addition to
hearing the songs and checking out the latest fashions, I am interested
to see how the artist chooses to represent the song visually. Will
it be a party video with lots of dancing? Or, will it be a romantic
video showing the artist and his girlfriend on a tropical island?
No matter what type of video it is, it seems like the same woman
keeps popping up to play the “dime piece.” She is usually
thin, with big breasts, a J-Lo booty, a flat stomach and very long
hair. If she is African American or Latina, she usually has very
Many of us don’t look like the women in music
videos, and that’s ok!!! There is more than one way to be
beautiful and you don’t have to have “hair long and
black and curly like you’re Cuban” (Snoop Dogg from
“Beautiful”). Beauty doesn’t have to be so narrowly
defined, and we shouldn’t allow such narrow definitions of
beauty to define us. We are all beautiful in our own special way.
The trick is to recognize your unique beauty and work to enhance
those features and qualities that make you, you. If you are struggling
to appreciate the outer you, here are some tips that can help you
feel more comfortable with the skin you’re in.
Tip #1: Limit your media intake.
If you find yourself comparing your body, face, hair or other features
to women in music videos, on TV and in the movies, spend less time
looking at them! Turn off the TV and go get some exercise! By limiting
the amount of time you spend having these media images of too thin,
“perfect” women bombard your mind, you are also likely
to reduce the amount of time you spend comparing your physical qualities
to those women. Not comparing your physical characteristics to others
is a good first step in feeling better about the way you look.
Tip #2: Buy clothes that are flattering.
Buying clothes that fit and are flattering can make you feel more
attractive. Hiding imperfections with baggy clothes will not make
you feel good about how you look. Instead, buy clothes that are
the right size, not too big or too small. Also remember that all
fashions are not for all people. You may have to forgo a trendy
style that doesn’t look good on your frame for something that
looks great on you. That’s a perfect opportunity to start
your own trend!!
Tip #3: Enhance what you already like.
What parts of your body do you like? Is it your teeth, your lips,
eyes, ears, arms, fingernails or your toes? If you have pearly whites,
smile more! If you have sultry eyes, go to the make up counter at
your favorite store and get an eye makeover (this is no cost to
you and you don’t need an appointment). If you think you have
the cutest toes, buy a cool toe ring to show them off. If you’ve
got luscious lips, get a new lip-gloss that will make them shine!
Whatever parts of your body you like, there are inexpensive and
even free ways to enhance them. Enhancing any aspect of your appearance,
especially if you already feel good about it will build your confidence
we are all beautiful in our own unique way. There is no body like
yours, and no body is perfect. You’ve got to think positively
and do the best you can with what you’ve got!